Bio

 

I was 16 when I became pregnant and 17 when I delivered. I did not end up on the streets but I could have. I did not have positive influences to encourage or direct me. My family treated me like an outcast and didn’t provide me with the support I so desperately needed. People said I should have had an abortion, while other’s told my mother they were sorry — as though somebody had just died! But I was a good kid. I got straight A’s. I was just looking for love in all the wrong places.

I graduated from high school in June and my daughter was born in July. I wanted to go to college. I even had college offers, but my parents said I couldn’t go because I had a baby. I also wanted to go to the Air Force, but my parents discouraged that as well because again I had a baby.

Many teen parents drop out of school (including junior high school) because they have no child care. Although I came from a two-parent household and my mother was a housewife, I  still had no childcare or support.

While I was pregnant (and still in high school) I felt it was best for me to leave home. I will never forget my father saying, “I’ll take you to a motel”, but who was going to pay for it. Instead I chose to stay with my daughter’s father (at his parents’ home). It wasn’t until a few years later that I moved into my own place.

My daughter’s father passed away unexpectedly when she was young, so it was just me. She was not eligible for social security survivor’s benefits. I worked two jobs; sometimes three. I remember times when I had to let my daughter eat, and I would eat her leftovers. When people talk about being hungry, I know exactly what they mean. I suffered due to pride, because I didn’t want to ask for help.

Little did I know that I was following a path that was paved long before my time, my mother had been a teen mom; she was pregnant in her senior year and sister was also pregnant at 18. And here I came along pregnant in my senior year. It was important to me that my daughter breaks the generational curse. My daughter, who is now 25, earned her Masters Degree in May 2008. She is my parents’ only grandchild who has gone to college, not to mention graduate with an advanced degree.

So much of what people said got caught up in my head. I was almost 35 when I found the courage to push forward. While working two full-time jobs, I started college and earned an AA (with honors). Then I received my real estate license, started doing mortgage loans, and became a Certified Notary Signing Agent. I finally earned my Bachelor’s Degree in 2004. I did the things I always wanted to do …

If only I would have had the resources and tools to be self-sufficient.  As I have shared my story, others share theirs. A minister was 16 when she had her son. My pastor’s sister was 16 when her daughter was born. A co-worker was 16 when she gave birth. I had no idea what these successful women had been through until I heard their stories. It made me feel like I was not alone or an outcast.

When I look at our youth and teen parents, I see a person with so much potential. It’s one thing to tell someone they need to change, but providing the resources and tools to assist them in the transition of change is key. The program I work with — CoCo Corner — helps youth, teen mothers, and teen fathers transition into adulthood or parenthood by providing those needed resources and tools such as childcare and support services to help them continue their educational goals. We realize that it takes a village to raise a child. One entity cannot do it alone. We do our part by creating a family –oriented environment with strong emphasis on goal setting, community involvement, and personal development. We wish to plant in every participant’s heart the notion that they have goodness within themselves, and something positive to contribute to society.

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HELEN RAINES is the Founder and President of Cornucopia, a non-profit organization that provides educational guidance, health resources, economic mentoring, and social development that leads to self-reliance.